The Hand-Off: When Discipline Becomes Your Job

I could hear her yelling from the middle of the backyard. I was outside playing with a friend when my mother called my name to educate me on my insubordination from at least a hundred feet away. Her voice traveled through walls and around trees. Annoyed, I immediately shot back, "What!?!?"

Before I could even finish my childish comeback, my friend snapped, "You didn't put the cheese puffs bag away." Sure enough, my mom whipped the back door open and ordered me inside to put them away. I’m sure this is relatable for all of us—something we did as kids that didn’t meet our parents' standards and led to an "instructional moment."

That instructional moment is a form of discipline. As children, we need discipline because we are flawed, inconsistent creatures learning how to grow. Without it, we would never evolve into functioning members of society. Our parents use discipline to mold our character and cultivate our potential; they use it to teach us right from wrong. Yet, as we grow, we often resist it more.

During our teenage years, we experiment and start to learn lessons on our own. To an extent, this is the discovery of self-discipline. It’s unintentional, but still informative. This is when the responsibility for growth begins to transition from our parents to ourselves. We eventually accept that our parents have taken us as far as they can; it is now our responsibility to continue evolving.

It’s usually around high school or college that we start creating "New Year’s Resolutions." We develop self-awareness and recognize the areas we want to improve. We also realize our parents aren't there to discipline us if we fail. Because we remain inconsistent creatures throughout our entire lives, this is where adult discipline comes into play.

In adulthood, discipline is vital because it sustains our effort toward growth. Discipline is simply a form of consistency. For example, if you start working out, it takes discipline to do it every day, every week, and every year. You don’t suddenly get fit after one week; it’s the consistency of the work compounded over time.

The discipline I am talking about is delayed gratification. We put in the effort now so that we can experience something better in the future. As John Maxwell says:

""When you do the things you have to do when you have to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them."

Reaching that point requires a high level of discipline. Take Tom Brady, for example. His career spanned a remarkable twenty-three years. His ability to extend his career and play at such a high level was a direct result of his discipline, particularly regarding his diet. Most people say, "If I were getting paid millions, I’d be that disciplined, too." But Brady was disciplined before the millions came—and that is exactly what led to his greatness.

Don't wait until the lights are on to start being disciplined. Be disciplined now.